Back on Schedule

The clock and I are not friends.  It's usually saying, "You're late!" adding sarcastically under its breath, "Again...," each time I glance its way.  However, living without a schedule for almost six months has me respecting the clock a little more, if not fully liking it yet.

Always enjoying a day without a place to be, I thought a year schedule free would be an ideal living arrangement.  With nobody waiting on us and no where to be unless we were traveling, a typical day of home school went much like this:

Sometime around whatever A.M.....(Daddy/teacher is already up and at 'em, but Mommy/teacher is just facing the day.)

Mommy/teacher:  "When you get up, get dressed and clean your room."
Kids: "Snore."

Five (or so) minutes later...

Mommy/teacher: "Get up.  Get dressed and clean your room."
Kids: "Snore... grunt...Huh?"


Mommy/teacher:  "Get up!  It's time for school.  Get dressed and clean your room."

Kids get up, stumble around, put on clothes that don't match and basically throw the comforter over the top of the bed hiding their pajamas and toys underneath.

Mommy/teacher:  "Breakfast is ready.  Did you brush your teeth?" Continuing as kids walk back towards bathroom,  "We need to get started.  You have a lot of work to do today."

After kids are finally washed and fed they meander to the "classroom" on the dining table.  They are given a meticulous list of assignments for the day. Each can work at his or her own pace with no timetable for each assignment or subject area.  They finally start working around 9:30 A.M. (maybe), but no one's really checking the clock.

Cut to around 6 P.M. (approximately) and kids are still working, having taken breaks whenever they wanted and eating snacks and lunch whenever the fancy struck.  Daddy/teacher, usually losing it by this time, asks the kids why are they NOT finished.  The kids complain that Mommy/teacher has given them way too much work and it is all her fault.... and it is.  It is all her fault for thinking life (especially life with kids) could be lived without a schedule.

my well worn copy

When my first child was born, an old and dear friend gave me the book, Dr. Denmark Said It! by Madia Bowman, as a baby gift.  Being a relatively new mom herself, she claimed it saved her life.  She advised me to follow Dr. Denmark's schedule for babies to the tee.  I smiled and thanked her, but had every intention of deciding for myself what schedule, if any, my baby and I would follow.  After reading Dr. Spock, What to Expect the First Year, the American Academy of Pediatrics baby books and countless internet and magazine articles, I was more confused than ever.  They all differed on scheduling and they all seemed, honestly, a bit wishy-washy about it.  I needed an authoritative voice telling me what to do because I didn't want to screw it up. After five years struggling with infertility and two devastating miscarriages, I was scared.  I needed a grandmother figure whispering in my ear, "Do this and all will be well."

Can you believe
she'll be 114 on
February 1?

I opened the Dr. Denmark book and found my grandmother. (Actually, she could have been my great-grandmother.  Dr. Denmark is a 113 year old pediatrician who was still practicing medicine in Alpharetta, GA when my first two children were born.  I had the great fortune to take both of them to her for her one-of-a-kind check-ups.)

In the book, she outlined every schedule for children beginning at birth and continuing through the school years.  She was a clear and commanding voice much needed by this new mother.  Her schedules* not only saved my life, but they guided my life for eight years.  I was the household drill sergeant and the bedtime bugler playing taps at the same time every night. No quarter and life was good.  I had three happy, healthy babies in less than four years and our marriage was stronger than ever having nightly alone time with each other.  The kids thrived secure in our family schedule.

Unfortunately, as the kids got older, school, sports and other extra curricular activities started dictating our schedule.  I started listening to other voices and tuned out the wisdom of my "grandmother's" ways.  We were running ourselves ragged and violating every one of Dr. Denmark's sage dictums.  Sound familiar?

After the past six months of a willy-nilly lifestyle, I realized how much I missed my Dr. Denmark household.   Of all the items I discarded when packing for Fripp, something made me bring her book.  Looking it over again, I couldn't help but wonder... Would we have needed this sabbatical if we'd stuck to Dr. Denmark's schedules?

And so I am pleased to announce that Mommy the Drill Sergeant is back and things are changing.  Greg, can you play Reveille on the guitar?

*This is a blog with all of her schedules listed.  Parents, I highly recommend checking these out.

Purge is the Word...

We have accomplished an almost Herculean Feat: We have cleaned out ALL closets, cabinets, drawers (including the junk ones), garage, and basement (no scratch that. Reverse it.) in nine days.  I just thought I was tired last week.  How naive I was!

After the game on Sunday, we came home in complete denial and just went to bed.  Yes, it was only 7 o'clock.  After only 10 hours of sleep, I awoke at 5 AM, turned on the Kerug, and got busy in our closet.  I had already packed the clothes for Fripp.  I bought the terrific under the bed bins for the kids' clothes and just used our suitcases for ours.  The rest of the stuff in the closet drawers went into garbage bags: white for "Good"will and black for the "b"asement.  I have tried to use this move as a time to purge all our stuff.  It would have been easier to just dump it all in a bag and drag it to the basement to deal with later, but I never do things the easy way.  (Yes, I was laughing as I wrote that!) Monday continued as such.

Our Closet Before...

Cut to Tuesday.  Now I am dumping everything in a bag and having Greg and the kids drag it to basement as fast as possible.  The rental walk through is at 6 pm and we will never be finished!

Take it from me, clean out now!  Don't wait till it is too late like me!  Did I really think this was a good idea... ever?

Our Closet After.

More Signs

Two more universal signs slapped me in the face this week.  I didn't think it needed to be so jarring, but I don't control these things.  The universe has its own way of getting our attention.

My first sign occurred in the medical field.  A nurse called to tell me I needed a follow up mammogram;  there was a spot on my previous one taken two days ago.  Luckily, the appointment was the following day.  After the digital mammogram, the doctor determined that the spot was still visible and ordered an ultrasound.  With knees buckled, I braced for the worst.  My husband's mother died of breast cancer 23 years ago after fighting it for over 8 years.  She was only 44 years old.  I turn 44 next month.  Life is short.  Her life was shorter than most.  The older I get, the younger she gets.  Even though I was only dating my husband when she died, I helped her as best I could through it all.  I saw her battle again and again only to lose in the end.  I know there is so much more that can be done today for treating breast cancer, but I did not want to think about it.  The weight of what this could mean to me and my family made me feel 100.  One hour later, I was free as a bird!  The ultrasound showed a fluid filled cyst.  "Nothing to be concerned about... See you in a year!"  Wow! Life can change on a dime!  The message I took from this tiny scare: Carpe Diem!

our neglected children

My second sign came when my daughter asked me to play a game with her and I automatically said no.  I didn't even consider it.  I had so many papers to grade and forms to fill out for 101 students that I didn't even think about taking a break to play with my rapidly growing eight year old.  As she walked away, I could hear "The Cat's in the Cradle" playing on the radio in my head.  I actually liked that song when I was a kid.  Not a favorite now.  I am missing out on my kids' childhoods.  When I thought about it I realized I spend more time with other people's kids than my own.

Our family is stretched to the max timewise and working what feels like two fulltime jobs makes me as stressed as can be.  We have dreamed of taking this family sabbatical to get healthy mentally and physically, socially and emotionally.  I want to take a career break and try my hand at writing curriculum...

Am I asking for too much, Universe?