Car for Sale....Sold!

We sold my Volvo in less than five days.  I think this has freaked me out the most because I have had a car of my own since I turned 16.  Greg assured me that he would share, but it's just not the same.

We decided to sell the Volvo to simplify things (we only need one vehicle this year and Greg's Excursion is bigger and better for traveling) and add to our savings for traveling.  We meant to sell it as soon as I finished SIG at Emory, but time got away from us so we decided to wait and sell it in South Carolina. When I couldn't sleep Tuesday night, I went ahead and put it on Craig's List.  What the heck, right?  It's free.  By Friday, I had three potential buyers lined up to see it over the weekend.  On Saturday, the first couple who came to view it bought it on the spot.  As they were pulling away, I suddenly felt sad and realized what a change we really were making in our lives.  But was it a change for the better?  Not only did I not have a job and a home, but now I didn't have a car.  Was I still an American if I don't have a job, a home and a car?  I really didn't know.  I hoped so.  All I knew was that I felt weird all of a sudden.  Unnatural.

When I told my friends and family about selling my car so fast they made me feel better by putting it into perspective:  the ease and speed of the sale is just another sign that we are doing the right thing.  I don't know why, but it makes me happy to think the universe is behind us.  Are the stars really lining up just for us?  Of course not, but I am getting excited again about the possibilities of this year.


I'm not a fatalist, but it does go back to what I wrote about earlier:  We made a decision and then proceeded as if it was going to happen.  It reminds me of a line from one of my favorite movies, Under the Tuscan Sun: Martini says to Frances when she is doubting the crazy changes she has made in her life, "Between Austria and Italy, there is a section of the Alps called the Semmering. It is an impossibly steep, very high part of the mountains. They built a train track over these Alps to connect Vienna and Venice. They built these tracks even before there was a train in existence that could make the trip. They built it because they knew some day, the train would come."   We have been planning for this family adventure knowing some day it would come.  It looks like someday is today so I better be ready.  So long Volvo!  Hello traveling money!

More Signs

Two more universal signs slapped me in the face this week.  I didn't think it needed to be so jarring, but I don't control these things.  The universe has its own way of getting our attention.

My first sign occurred in the medical field.  A nurse called to tell me I needed a follow up mammogram;  there was a spot on my previous one taken two days ago.  Luckily, the appointment was the following day.  After the digital mammogram, the doctor determined that the spot was still visible and ordered an ultrasound.  With knees buckled, I braced for the worst.  My husband's mother died of breast cancer 23 years ago after fighting it for over 8 years.  She was only 44 years old.  I turn 44 next month.  Life is short.  Her life was shorter than most.  The older I get, the younger she gets.  Even though I was only dating my husband when she died, I helped her as best I could through it all.  I saw her battle again and again only to lose in the end.  I know there is so much more that can be done today for treating breast cancer, but I did not want to think about it.  The weight of what this could mean to me and my family made me feel 100.  One hour later, I was free as a bird!  The ultrasound showed a fluid filled cyst.  "Nothing to be concerned about... See you in a year!"  Wow! Life can change on a dime!  The message I took from this tiny scare: Carpe Diem!

our neglected children

My second sign came when my daughter asked me to play a game with her and I automatically said no.  I didn't even consider it.  I had so many papers to grade and forms to fill out for 101 students that I didn't even think about taking a break to play with my rapidly growing eight year old.  As she walked away, I could hear "The Cat's in the Cradle" playing on the radio in my head.  I actually liked that song when I was a kid.  Not a favorite now.  I am missing out on my kids' childhoods.  When I thought about it I realized I spend more time with other people's kids than my own.

Our family is stretched to the max timewise and working what feels like two fulltime jobs makes me as stressed as can be.  We have dreamed of taking this family sabbatical to get healthy mentally and physically, socially and emotionally.  I want to take a career break and try my hand at writing curriculum...

Am I asking for too much, Universe?

Signs

I believe signs are everywhere. If you know where and when to look. That's a big IF! I think signs have been showing me things all my life, but most of the time I was looking in the wrong place. Well, I'm paying attention now.

In my first post on this blog, I wrote my true feelings down for the first time without flinching. I made the decision not to return to teaching next year and instead, pursue my other career dreams and fulfill our family's dream of traveling for a year at the same time. I wrote it in almost a stream of consciousness not really thinking about what I was saying. Immediately, I felt lighter...relieved. That's when the signs appeared.

The next day, I awoke and felt recharged. I was fired up enough to finish my writing project! It was the accomplishment I needed to confirm I could tackle my new career choice: writing curriculum for gifted education with which I have worked since 1998. I signed a publishing contract in February for my first project, but hadn't finished writing it. I was filled with doubt, but after deciding to commit to really doing this for a living- I finished!

That same afternoon, still high from the closure of the book, I received an email asking me to speak about my book's curriculum at the National Association for Gifted Children's national convention in New Orleans! How's that for affirmation! I'm suddenly feeling not so irresponsible after all!