Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Life Break Coach- Midlife Crisis Options 3 - 8

Trying to overcome my boredom with life, I first considered the easiest choices for radical lifestyle change- 1- SEX and 2- DRUGS- but swiftly ruled them out.  No pills or quick thrills for this lady!  Marrying a rock and roll musician was enough for me.

There has to be other options to help me through my fear of death (Isn't that what a midlife crisis is, after all?)...

Brainstorming other stereotypical ways people have reacted to the reality of their own mortality, this is what I came up with:

3.  Buy an expensive sports car.
4.  Dress too young for my age, i.e. wear a thong.
5.  Have plastic surgery.
6.  Get a tattoo or pierce something: bellybutton, nose, nipple, etc.
7.  Make your adolescent or tween child your friend.
8.  Have an extreme experience - skydiving, free falling, bungee jumping, etc.

Let's look at these one by one...

Option 3- Sports Car
Greg and I could buy a tricked-out, fifty to hundred thousand dollar sports car and cruise the roads together.  Not a bad idea.  I love riding through the mountains or over the water in the low country and I'm sure a really nice car that the kids haven't trashed would make the experience even better.  With the top down and the wind flowing through our hair, Greg and I could reconnect and relax as we see new places together.  Most sports cars are only two seaters, which enables plenty of alone time for our marriage.  We could plan romantic weekend getaways.   I am liking this idea more and more.  What could possibly be wrong with this solution?  After spending years trying to have children, we appreciate the miracle that each of our three babies is and feel the time with them is fleeting.  We had ten years as that childless couple; there will be plenty of time together after the kids head to college.  We want family time now so no sports car for us.

Option 4- Dress too young
No one wants to see me in a thong.  Next, option.

Option 5- Plastic Surgery
While I am guilty of staring in the mirror at every wrinkle and flaw on my face and body, I am proud of each laugh line and crease.  Also, I endured years of in vitro procedures and surgeries so I am through with needles and knives for this lifetime.  (If they come up with a surgically-free way of sucking fat off my thighs, I will reconsider this option.)

Option 6- Tattoos and Piercings
See Option 5.  (Full Disclosure- Greg got a tattoo when he turned thirty and would love to embellish it if given the chance.  I think he's nuts.)

Option 7- Kids as Friends
I have so many problems with this course of action.  While I adore my children and love spending time with them, I know that my kids need a mom not a friend.  They need guidance not a playmate.  Growing up, I had a friend whose mother dumped all her financial worries, career fears and romantic musings on her fourteen-year-old daughter.  Instead of her being a stable rock on which my friend could rely, her mother burdened her with grown up problems too young, greatly damaging their relationship.  I remember being shocked at how my friend argued with her mom, and then mortified when her mom wanted to go out with us when we turned sixteen.  I believe parents need their own friends to unwind with as do their children.  Parents and children's bonds grow stronger when each understands their defined role.

Option 8- Extreme Experiences
This option has me thinking.  How does one define extreme experience?  When I Googled it, I got skydiving, bungee jumping, and base jumping.  Do I really need to list the reasons why this is not a viable option for a mother of three?  However, I am totally up for an extreme experience in lifestyle changes.  (I think the only lasting lifestyle change from jumping out of a plane would be if the parachute didn't open.)

Now my question is: What extremes am I willing to go to find joy in my life?



  1. I am guessing you know the answer to this one is within, buried in the recesses of your cluttered mind. On a serious note, I think joy is found in the harmony of life (notice I didn't say balance because I think a woman, mother, lover, writer, creative person has not chance of perfect balance, but harmony, yes). Joy is such a subjective feeling and varies in magnitude depending on the person.

    On a crazy note.. talk you husband into 'picking you up a swank hotel bar'.. let your imagination from there... best with your endeavors

    1. Thanks for the additional suggestions, Brenda! I'll definitely mention one to my husband. I am currently working on a book about my ultimate solution to my midlife crisis... the blog tells it all, in a fragmented sort of way. I am hoping the book will be a bit more coherent to others as I share what I learned. Joy is subjective and varies, but everyone recognizes when its missing.

      Thanks again for reading!

  2. Ha! Yeah, I think it's best to steer clear from plastic surgery. It looks to me that you are having an exciting life! I so agree with you on not making your kids be your best friends. They don't need that burden. Great post!


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