Sunday, January 27, 2013

From the Mouths of Babes*

A sleeping child is a beautiful thing.
Kids are hard work.  They wear on your nerves, test your patience and put a constant strain on your pocketbook.   With kids around, the laundry piles to the ceiling and the cupboard is always bare.  That box of crackers you bought for the cheesy chicken casserole for dinner is gone thanks to the neighborhood kids and your daughter's giving nature.   She cut up all the cheese, too, so you'll have to go back to the store.  Oh, and there is no milk for your coffee... again.

Kids have never ending needs that must be met.  One kid perpetually asks, "What's for dinner?" even though you just fed them yesterday.  One kid has outgrown their shoes even though you bought the last pair two sizes too big. Another kid has the unmitigated gall to ask you to help them with social studies homework even though you spent an hour with them the night before going over slope-intercept form in math.  Must you help with social studies, too?   Good grief!

So why do we put up with them?  

Because they are pretty darn funny.  Greg and I would have kicked ours out years ago if they were not so entertaining.  While writing about our family sabbatical year, I stumbled upon several gems that endeared us to our children long after their cherub faces thinned and they became too big to cuddle.  Here are some of my favorites:

Overheard from the Mouths of Babes-

While playing with their dolls:
Anabel: Do babies really say goo-goo, gaga?
Emma: Yes, but only the stupid ones.

While playing Wii Party: 
Wyatt: I can't help it that I'm good at it.
Anabel: You're just good at being lucky.  How much skill does it take to press a button and have the spinner land on your number?
Wyatt: More than you'd think actually...

While trying to steal my book light:
Mommy: Put that back.
Emma: Can I just use it tonight?
Mommy: No, you'll lose it.  You can buy your own light with the $50 you have.
Emma: I wouldn't spend my $50 on a book light.
Mommy: Why not? They're only $3.
Emma: That's exactly why I wouldn't spend $50 on one.

While getting ready for bed:
Emma: Can I get some of the tools dentist use?
Mommy: Why? Do you want to be a dentist when you grow up?
Emma: It would be fun, but I don't think they'd let someone who's had so many cavities be a dentist. Or would they? I'd know more about it than a kid who never had any.

While trying to talk my husband into taking me to a movie for date night: 
Greg: I don't know.  What movie do you want to see?
Me: The one with Bradley Cooper.
Wyatt: Ooper Duper! (Said just like Peter Boyle's monster in Young Frankenstein.)

As long as they keep the laughs coming, I guess we'll let them hang around...  Laughter may not fold the clothes, but it sure helps it go a little faster.

*For those readers with no sense of humor, this post was written with my tongue firmly in my cheek.  I love my kids dearly and would never kick them by the wayside.  Greg, on the other hand...


  1. I agree. Kids are a lot of work, but I wouldn't trade them. Even though I have a teen and a tween, I'm still getting some of those great, witty observations.

  2. Thanks for reading, Janel!

    I'm working on my dialogue writing skills and so am using my kids as observation subjects. It may be a little disturbing at times, but it is rarely boring stuff.


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