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Could a year of traveling save my sanity? |
Greg made me lose my original train of thought after nixing my Eat, Love, Pray reenactment, but the seed
of the idea took hold in my mind and I began watering it carefully and
bringing it out for a little sun now and then.
I capitulated my fantasy of following Elizabeth Gilbert’s exact
steps. We didn’t have to travel to
Italy, India and Indonesia to change our lives; nevertheless, the more I
thought about it, the more strongly I felt that something drastic must happen. Just
taking the kids out of activities couldn’t turn around our lives.
I searched phrases
like “taking a break”, “getting away”, and “life break” online. My first two searches resulted in 50 ways to leave your lover and 101 ways get away with murder- no help,
but I bookmarked those for future reference. When I searched life break, I struck
gold. I discovered there were other
people who wanted to take a break from life; so much so, there was a link to an
actual life break coach. I thought, “You
have got to be kidding me! Who needs a life break coach when you have
girlfriends and martinis?” So I decided
to run my brainstorm by my friends.
While Greg
taught a night class, I threw mac and cheese at the kids, slung some applesauce
their way to include the fruit group and got everyone to shower, finish
homework and prepare book bags and lunches for the next day. All accomplished by 8:15! Wearing a supermom glow that resembled a sweaty
sheen, I was shaking the martinis as Bridget and Jane arrived. Anxious to share my ideas, I tossed back a
pink drink and launched into my plan.
“Greg and I want
to take a family sabbatical.” Of course, Greg didn’t know it yet. I used “sabbatical” as a nice term for
“quitting” our jobs- it sounded better to me and was part of the psychological
game I played to convince myself I wasn’t a complete slacker.
“What’s a family
sabbatical?” asked Bridget as she sipped her cocktail.
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Would you travel with these kids? |
I gave my
rehearsed answer in one breath. “Basically,
we quit our jobs, rent our home and road school our kids while traveling the
highways and byways of the great USA and abroad for one year.”
They
laughed. Maybe I did need a life coach.
“What? That’s
insane," Bridget managed to say between giggles. "Drop everything and see the
world?”
“That would be nuts," interrupted Jane. "Not
work? Not send the kids to school? Not
participate in a thousand activities, committees, or sports?” She finished her
drink in one gulp.
I realized they
weren’t taking me seriously. Looking each one in the eye, I said, “I’m dead
serious.”
“Holy cow, you
are," said Jane. “Take me with you!"
“Lord! Me, too.”
“So you don’t
think I’m crazy?”
“People may call
the doctors and carry you to Milledgeville faster than your head can hit a
pillow, but personally, I think it’s the sanest thing I’ve heard in a long time!”
said Bridget. The martinis were kicking in.
Fueled with my
friends’ approval, I expounded on my rationalized plans for our one-year off
the grid. "We could rent out our house- furnished, of course.”
“You would leave all your
stuff?” said Bridget.
“Who would rent this big
house- furnished?” asked Jane.
“There must be some business
people that will only be in town temporarily,” I said. “Or a family relocating, but don’t know where
they want to buy yet. Our house would be perfect for them. We have our retirement savings, but if we
rent the house it will help cover the loss of my paycheck which goes to the
home’s mortgage and utilities anyway."
“Jenny, you’ve obviously
thought this through, but can you really afford to take a year off from work? Would they hold your job for you?”
“This has been
my obsession for months. Public Ed teachers
sign an annual contract so there’s no guaranteeing my job. If I don’t sign next year’s contract, they
won’t hold my position. But you know
what? I’m okay with that. I desperately
want to change careers. Sitting in the faculty meeting last week, I looked
around at the dead stares on most of the faces.
They looked like prison inmates- all serving out their thirty years.”
“I know,” said Bridget. “I’m one of the inmates. Only eight years to
go.”
“I’m only at the halfway
point! I have fifteen more years till retirement,” I said. “I don’t want to spend that time constantly
doing the math: ten years and twenty-six days till I can retire- if I use sick
leave days- only nine years and forty-eight days to go... I love the kids, but I am sick
of the government mandates and being treated like a sheep in a herd rather than
a responsible professional.”
“I am sick of teaching to the
almighty test,” said Bridget.
“Me, too,” I said. “The prospect of another fifteen years of
this motivated me to write up my Interest Projects curriculum and try to get it
published. I never imagined I’d actually get an offer. It felt so good to
finally follow through with something. Since I signed the contract for my resource
book last month,” I held my glass high in the air for a toast. “I believe in
dreams again.”
We all gave a little “Whoop!”
I continued, “I’ve always
fantasized about writing for a living. If we take a family sabbatical, I could
use the time off to finish writing and editing the book, and then, hopefully, write
more.”
“But you said
you wouldn’t see a penny of royalty money for two years. Can you still afford to quit?” Ever
practical, Jane always grounded me.
I shrugged. “I could
sell my car to help with travel expenses.
We’d only need one car anyway, if we were all traveling together. Our two rental houses are leased so we’ll
have some income. We’ve always wanted to
spend more time at the Fripp Island rental home; it really needs fixing up, so
we could stay there when it’s not rented and work on the house in-between
trips. The kids can help with the renovations and are the perfect ages for home
school and travel- old enough to remember everywhere we go, but young enough to
not need to be surgically separated from their friends. Plus, I’ve always wondered what home schooling
would be like.”
“School at the
beach would be a dream!” said Bridget.
“You’ve got a plan; I say go for it.”
“Greg’s mother
died when she was only forty-five years old.
I turn forty-four next month. The older I get the younger she gets. Emily worked hard all her life, but never
lived to enjoy one day of retirement. If
this is going to be the last year of my life, I want it to mean something. Even if it’s not my last year- which I
sincerely hope- I am running out of time to change my life.”
“Grandma Moses started painting
in her eighties,” said Jane.
I smiled. “True. But let’s be
real… I’m no Grandma Moses.” I paused to take a breath and another sip. “I don’t know what it is, but I just can’t
shake this feeling of: it’s now or
never.”
“I would toast to that, but I’m out of drink.”
Bridget waggled her empty glass at me.
We enjoyed another round or three- honestly, I was so drunk on their approval,
I stopped counting. With a green light
from my friends, I was ready to unveil the final plan to my husband.
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Greatest Husband Ever! |
I expected a
long list of arguments against the possibility of our taking a family
sabbatical and it taking months to win him over, but Greg loved the idea. Since
our discussion, he had been thinking of chucking it all, too. After hours of talking, Greg summed up our
stream of rationalizations with, “We take one year of our retirement now while
we are young and healthy enough to enjoy it and spend it traveling with our
kids while they are still young enough to want to be with us.” (I ask you, how
is that crazier than divorce and drugs?)